I Will Revise

I received a Christmas card Dean, an old housemate from my days at the University of Kent at Canterbury, today.

I was also going through old uni papers when I came across an old dot matrix printout of an email he sent me on the 15th May 1996.

It was a reworking of the song "I Will Survive" by the Weathergirls, but entitled "I Will Revise". It has to do with not revising, so a bit of an odd title, but as it's amusing I'll reprint it here.

At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
Kept thinking I could never pass with no revision guide,
But then I spent so many nights, getting all the questions wrong,
And I grew strong,
And I learned I could scrape along,

I won't look back, to any place,
When I can swallow 15 cans and get completely off my face,
I would have revised by the clock,
I would have had no spare time free,
If I'd thought for just one second my exams would bother me,

So all my notes, are on the floor,
Don't even matter... that there's no rock night anymore...
Weren't you the one who tried to get me to revise?
You think I'd crumble? You think I'd work towards the skies?

Oh no, not I!
I won't revise!
Unless I die of beer stains, I know I'll stay alive,
Though my money's at an end,
I've my overdraft to spend,
I won't revise,
I won't revise!!

It took all the strength I had, not to act the part,
But in the end my real revision didn't even start.
I used to sit at home at night, feeling guilty to myself,
I used to try, but now I hold my head up high,

And you see me! Somebody new!
I'm not that mixed up wierd bloke who wants a good 2:2
So if you feel like dropping in, chances are that I'll be free,
Coz I've done sod all revision, and I'm failing my degree,

Oh no, not I!
I won't revise,
I think that I may scrape a third, but I could be telling lies!
Let the lecturers all storm,
My bed's far too nice and warm,
I won't revise,
I won't revise,
Oh dear!!